The Mutaytor - 6/10/06 - Wakarusa - Kansas

driving from los angeles to kansas.
crunchy hands out cash at our first food stop. ‘per diem’ turns into ‘carpe per diem’. “what about my imaginary friend!!?” i ask offended… the bumpy highway levels out and our goal is alburquerque for tonight. we listen to brian wilson’s smile and talk about the hurra torpedo show that we’ll be missing. six of us are making this journey. some more will fly in on friday. we each have our own bench in the van. i’ve made a soft nest of blankets and photo magazines. “that you need to lock yourself in a van for two days to get some rest is insane,” brady says and i purr into my pillow. i pop up to sing ‘my favorite vechtaboooos’ to roo who is driving…. 7pm nose to the van window watching america pass by… 18 wheelers, the brightest part of the setting sun. “i’m a big fan of clouds,” roo says. “big sky,” kj concurs. we creep towards the border of new mexico as the fan fishtails with the weight from the trailer. flat lush ground, wide open space…. 11pm gas station stops are hilarious. the yocals stare and stare. “where’s buck?” “spawning a brown sewer bass,” someone says loudly and i fall down laughing… the yocals walk away and we all giggle…. 4pm – in the middle of new mexico… we make a beeline for a fireworks outlet. like hyper kids we race around the store. crunchy yells ‘5 minutes!’ and it becomes a game. we take photos outside and pile back into the van. “take THAT, watermelons of the world!” 7pm – driving against the slapping of huge raindrops. the dotted lines get blurred by traffic spray. kj and i jump excited at the same bolt of lightning on the horizon of this dark flat land. buck tells stories of manifestos with one side of his headphones pulled back…
this morning i was lonely in the hotel room. remnants of mutaynts scattered about. everyone home or on their way home with me left to pick up receipts and forgotten cell phone chargers. pool towels were scattered in corners. bryan left me a half a bottle of rum. there were notes with lists and hearts from crunchy. i worked on images wrapped in starchy hotel bedsheets and then sat outside for my ride from the wakarusa production crew to the airport. the airport was an hour away in missouri. we talked of family, of travel, the festival… at the flaming lips show i found myself dancing on stage with a dozen santa claus’, nuns, aliens and superheroes. i got some fun crowd shots from the speakers among them and as they jumped, the speakers threatened to hurl me into the pit. a man in an alien costume steadied me. i laughed the entire time on stage. flaming lips is love. it is blissful chaos on that stage. i’ve never experienced anything like that frenzy. wayne is an omnipresent force of guru and inspiration… reality spewed in a way that reaches thousands of people. “enthusiasm can change the world.” he said that night. to which i let my camera fall to my side and hugged this man in my head, this man standing only 10 feet from me invoking the higher selves of a sea of endless people out in front of us. silence fell then and then a song started~ it was met with the fiercest jumping, so fierce i leaped off the speakers into a gust of trusting wind and ran to find brady… earlier as they were setting up, i told wayne about my dream. he listened intently. i closed my eyes to remember it exactly as it happened. in my dream, he was sitting under a tree giving me a lesson about shoes. there were shoes in a row on a blanket. infant shoes, toddler shoes, adult shoes, glitter boots. the younger shoes were more worn out but he was talking to me about career stages and where i’m at. next scene i’m running to a stage on a hill and i have no shoes on and my camera is on me. i look to my left and crunchy is there running with me and ‘pictures of matchstick men’ was playing and everyone was rushing. a few days after that dream i was making out my schedule for the next few weeks. i had told crunchy that i would be sitting out this festival. before i erased it from my calendar though i figured i’d see what i’d be missing and right there in the line up among dozens of bands were the flaming lips and camper van beethoven. the dream made sense then and i knew my place was on the road to kansas to this festival. i thanked wayne for the dream and we hugged. he soon turned into a happy child throwing confetti and smoke everywhere and the show started. besides spinning in the grass with brady and mutaytor playing to a packed ecstatic crowd, that was the highlight of wakarusa for me, sitting with wayne and talking of dreams and purpose… at 2am saturday night, mutaytor took to the voodoo stage. the crowd absolutely freaked. bryan threw up the six-finger and oceans of people held it up in kind. when roo flew over them, they gasped and screamed. when monica danced, they smoldered. i was high on their reactions, peering out from behind speakers on stage and smiling. the sky opened up then and a tornado warning was issued. a tornado warning in kansas made the experience complete. dancers ran immediately from the show to the airport leaving just a few of us behind for a day. i left half the bed empty for monica who returned at 7am with a bag of peanuts. i left her my favorite blanket to endure the 2 day drive back home. i opted to fly home last minute when i realized how soon my toronto trip was. busy lives of choice, a family of love and milestones, of shared dreams and individual action. when i found myself alone in the hotel room this morning, i missed them…